One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
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there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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