Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
