Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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