R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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