Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
