Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
