I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
