boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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