Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
