no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
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I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
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This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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