i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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