Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Life is so much better after having sex.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
