Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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