i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Randomize
