I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So squirting runs in the family.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
