like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
