i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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