his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
