areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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