she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
