I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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