She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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