please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
