I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
