I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
