I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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