I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
