Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
