i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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