Three words: puerto rican gang bang
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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