I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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