Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

Bea Arthur died! :(

(214): View more from Texas

What?

(936): View more from Texas

Big bird passed.

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(936):Bea Arthur died! :( (214):What? (936):Big bird passed. http://tfl.nu/7dhn

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(503): View more from Oregon

I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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(503): I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team http://tfl.nu/ke7v

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(204): View more from Manitoba

The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.

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(204): The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume. http://tfl.nu/wyb3

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.

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(215): I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now. http://tfl.nu/hl5z

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.

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(306): Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight. http://tfl.nu/dfco

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(914): View more from New York

say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.

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(914): say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint. http://tfl.nu/783h

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.

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(267): I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night. http://tfl.nu/8jcd

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(512): View more from Texas

No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.

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(512): No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies. http://tfl.nu/7qkv

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(423): View more from Tennessee

animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

breakfast of champions

(423): View more from Tennessee

breakfast of stoners

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(423): animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful (1-423): breakfast of champions (423): breakfast of stoners http://tfl.nu/cslr

Replies (6) Good night (1214) Bad night (465)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...

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(902): Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going... http://tfl.nu/liwq

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(904): View more from Florida

That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.

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(904): That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots. http://tfl.nu/foo4

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(310): View more from California

Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.

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(310): Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes. http://tfl.nu/zngo

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(808): View more from Hawaii

It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.

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(808): It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend. http://tfl.nu/kmmx

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(425): View more from Washington

I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.

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(425): I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/vl0d

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(313): View more from Michigan

420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.

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(313): 420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store. http://tfl.nu/907d

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