remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?