You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor