a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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