i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we're making bets on your personal life
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
