You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
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She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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