my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
MIDGETS
????
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
