Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
