The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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