This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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