Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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