Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize