I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
