You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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