one two three fourrrrnication!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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