is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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