i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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