There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
