If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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