your parents love me but you hate me
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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