when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
