There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
