I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
