We named our party play list daddy issues
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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