Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
