There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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