Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
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Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You've changed since you got that strap on
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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