Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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