Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
