Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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