Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
