i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
