so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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