I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
