I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
