I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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