It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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