wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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